The View from the Firehouse
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Sunday, September 12, 2004Fear
A definition of fear- an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)
There are many definitions of fear but this is the one that applies to the following:
A couple of weeks ago my volunteer fire dept. had a house to which I responded. When I arrived on scene I donned my turnouts and airpack then I was assigned to a hoseline outside of the house.
When my low air alarm went off, I went to replace my air bottle and I was reassigned to a line which required entry into the house. I want to add here, not to brag or boast, but so you understand that I'm not the most experienced smoke eater but I'm also not a wet behind the ears probe either. I've been a firefighter for going on 13 years; 8 years in the USAF and now I work in the oil field as a FF, I also volunteer with the local department.
So anyway I made entry with two other people, one firefighter in front of me and one behind me. We went in through the garage and up a flight of stairs. About halfway up the stairs the firefighter behind me dropped off to up hump the hose (a fully charge 1 3/4" handline tends to get heavy) up the stairs for us.
By the time we got to the top of the stairs it was hot, really hot and dark. Thats when it started, I didn't want to be there, I just wanted to jump up and say screw it and leave. Then the thoughts flooded into my mind, your a coward, your weak, your a screw up, some firefighter you are. But there was also one other thought....pray. What an idea pray, so thats what I did. Just a simple prayer, repeated over and over again. And you know what God was listening and He was ture and faithful, like He always is. And by trusting Him, He gave me the courage to overcome and to press on.
I tend to like the Frank Peretti kinda of angel vs. demon, romanic thinking. Is that what happened? I don't know. What I do know is when I trusted God, He was faithful. How many times has fear held you back? The unknown is scary, but what's the alternative, to lock ourselves away and not face the world. Or trust that while the devil is the ruler of this world, Jesus has overcome the world.